Friday, 25th May 2012

Well it's 2 days after my D&C, I haven't had the energy nor the inclination to get on here and talk about it.  I'm finding this one a little more taxing physically than the last, my head feels groggy, the anesthetic has really knocked me around this time and I have been a little sorer.  I think my poor uterus is yelling out to leave it alone for a while, so that I am doing.

The day itself went as well as can be expected, it was a long day, having checked into day surgery at 7am, I was last on the morning list so didn't go into surgery until 11.15 am.  As usual all the nursing staff were very sympathetic and understanding, some even sat down and chatted to me about everything.  It's nice to be able to talk about it openly. I did have an odd moment though when being wheeled into theatre, the nurse had obviously not seen my file and asked if I had any children, when I told her I had a 2.5 year old daughter she then proceeded to ask if I was planning on having any more.  My response, well yes that's what I'm trying obviously.  She must have got the wrong end of the stick so to speak and thought I was in for IVF egg retrieval or transfer or something because she got all excited and started wishing me good luck and telling me that I will have a great age gap.  Arrival into the theatre holding bay didn't come quick enough as she left me with the next lot of nursing staff.  Phew, that was really awkward.

My anesthetist was a funny guy, cracking all sorts of terrible jokes. The hospital has just opened up their brand new operating theatres so as I was wheeled into the freezing cold room all I could see was shiny this and shiny that, everything brand spanking new and so much technology.  I made a comment and he said, isn't it great, although I don't know how to use any of it and started making jokes about he hopes he can remember how to use the new oxygen tank.  He definitely put my mind at ease, in an odd way.  They popped on the heart rate monitor and I could hear my heart racing away, normal he said, when anxious ha ha.  Then the needle goes in my arm, that weird sensation hits my head and I start remembering why I hate drinking.  He made a bad joke, I laughed and that's all I remember.

Next thing I know the recovery room nurse is waking me up and I'm crying, what the!  Groggy and unsure of what is going on she tells me that the anesthetist had commented on me being upset during the procedure.  Not that I'm surprised but I still find it a bit weird that you can do something like that and not remember or realise.  I told myself it's better than letting one rip or something, that makes me less embarrassed that way ;o)  He did briefly come and visit me afterwards on his way past to see another patient, he just asked how I was and what the last thing I remembered was, I told him it was laughing at his terrible joke and he laughed and said good and off he went.  I didn't get a chance to ask him about the crying eposide before he flitted off to his next patient.  I will make sure I ask the obstetrician/gyno when I visit her for my follow-up in a few weeks.

So next is the healing process, mentally and physically and when my results come in I can find out the cause, hope it's nothing chromosomal again (but probably likely) and find out whether my little rainbow baby was a girl or boy.  Something I like to know, I saw a little heart beating, it was something, so I want to know if I can call "it" a he or she.

Sadly I'm looking forward to the break for my body and mind, I am going to hit the treadmill again and enjoy not feeling the stress and panic of constant pregnancy monitoring.  Ironically when I arrived home from hospital waiting in the mail was the paperwork for the new clinic we have an appointment with mid/late July.  Wonder if that is a good or bad sign.  Only time will tell. 

For now fly free my little one, join your little sister, she is not far ahead of you and I will meet you again some day.  Love your Mummy xx